April 12, 2007

How the Grinch Stole the Election

How the Grinch Stole the Election

Author: From the show Politically Incorrect, this was the monologue presented by Bill Maher on November 2000.

its old now but still funny !!!!

And I'd like to read it to you now, shall we? "Every Jew down in Jewville liked elections a lot. But the Grinch, who lived over in Austin, did not."

"'I know they'll be voting for Gore,' he was thinking. 'By Wednesday, the latest, I'll be back to my drinking.'"

"Election day came, and the voting was close. At one point the Grinch even started to boast. 'It's a Grinch by the nose,' all the newsmen explained. Even Dan Rather, who was clearly insane."

"But, was he the winner? Hey, not so fast. Al Gore called him up and said, 'Grinch, kiss my ass.'"

"The race was too, too tight to say who was elected. The Grinch was so stressed his face got infected."

"All eyes turned to Jewville to sort out the mess, but Hymen and Herschel and dear old Aunt Bess, were too senile to vote for the one they liked. They poked the wrong hole and joined the Third Reich."

"The Jews down in Jewville took to the streets to complain about fraud, not to mention the heat."

"The Grinch said something that couldn't be gaucher. 'This election, my friends, is perfectly kosher.' Then a judge ruled each vote must be counted by hand. The Grinch said, 'that's not what my brother Jeb had planned.'"

"His lawyers filed motions, injunctions and writs, demanding that Gore and the Jews call it quits. he met Cindy Lou Lipcious, aged 92."

"'Why,' she cried, 'did you steal our election?' he just laughed and gave her a lethal injection."

"They say the Grinch's ego grew three sizes that day. Unfortunately his brain went the opposite way."

"So here's a lesson for now and for later, don't blame me, I voted for Nader."

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